December 23, 2008

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa and Blessed Yule! And a blessed and peaceful New Year!

How could I forget to mention this?? Duh. The wonderful LA casting director Bonnie Gillespie published her 3rd edition of Self-Management For Actors (available in bookstores and online everywhere) and I appear, in quote and photo, on page 354 discussing survival jobs. Yippee! I'm published! I highly recommend this "bible" for all actors - just chockfull of invaluable vital information about the business.

OH! And I'm quoted in Bonnie's weekly column on Actors Access this week, too!

December 2008 12 of 12

Oh, my....it's been a long road to this point. Sorry I've been gone. My dad has been gravely ill since July. Good news, he is scheduled to come home from the rehab hospital he's be at on Monday, just in time for Christmas, so that is a blessing. He's been through so much. I am just thankful that he's getting better. Finally.


So.....12 of 12 time! I am out of practice with this.

When I got up this late morning, I was glad to see that the rain downpour from last night had stopped and it was sunny again. The clouds were moving fast. But the light was lovely.

I started dusting to prepare to put out the Christmas decorations and I just like the way the light was playing off the purples and reds in my little grouping. Family, abundance and creativity. Good stuff!

So I finally found a little 3 footer Charlie Brown tree near work for $25. Other tree sellers wanted $45 for trees the same height. Such a rip-off!!! And the one seller I had bought my tree from last year was offended that I was dumbfounded by the $45 price tag. Um.....ever hear of RECESSION? Massive layoffs? Tightening pocketbooks? That guy will be sitting there with his trees on Christmas Eve. I feel bad for the poor trees. Unsold Christmas trees really make me feel sad.....

I unpacked all the decorations and just spread them out all over until I remember where I had them last year.

Another view of the Christmas carnage. And this is only from one direction in the room. The other way is loaded up even more so! I did get rid of a lot of decorations I wasn't crazy about last year. I realized I have a lot of snowmen! Good thing, since we haven't had any real snow yet! Boooooo.....

I still say prayers for my father every day for his recovery.

The Drew Art Extravaganza! My 3-year old nephew is quite prolific and sent me a big envelope of his artwork, which is displayed on my closet doors. He loves drawing and is starting to make shapes. As a former art therapist, I find his progression very fascinating. And as his aunt, I'm very proud of him!

This is his "ocean" series. I love these.

This one is titled "This is a cleaning bus" and you can see what he's going for with the vehicle shape and the round cleaning brushes....I think it's terrific!



Me and my boy, Santa. Gotta stop the Christmas fun and go to work.

Two of my co-workers, Samantha and Tricia. They work with the same attorneys during the day split between the two of them I get all of them at night. Lucky me!



Tricia is evil every year and has the candy bin at her desk. I hate her.

So that's my 12 for this December. It has been some year.

I now have my acting-focused blog linked to this blog - Adventures of an Acting Goddess. The link is listed to the left on this page. Please come and visit!

December 10, 2008

New video extravaganza!!!

December 8, 2008

So I went to a go-see for a print job today and there were these two little kids there - just adorable - so of course, I thought of my niece and nephew and how cute they would be for commercial work....but alas, my brother is not much for that. No show biz....well, at least not yet, but I do believe Ms. Mia is quite the performer!

Go-sees are interesting animals in that you're just you, you stand, look at the camera, have them snap off a few and off you go. This was a huge call - I was in line for quite some time.

It always amuses me to put myself in the shoes of whatever client looks at these....what exactly are they looking for? I think every actor does this a bit after an audition, but since a go-see isn't an audition per se - there is no criteria except for what you look like in a photo - I wonder how they choose? I guess, like everything else in this business, it's all subjective.

Have a happy!

December 2, 2008

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

I am so very thankful that my father is recovering well from his multiple medical ordeal and will be home from rehab in time for Christmas. He's been through enough.

As well as my mother.Speaking of mothers, Happy Birthday, Mom! I'm one lucky daughter.

I am currently working with Ellen at http://www.actorswebmaster.com/ to redesign my website and make it both more user friendly and, most importantly, to reflect who I am. This template stuff just doesn't cut it. So, within the next month, you should be seeing a bold new style from http://www.micheleathenamorgen.com/.

I will also have new video to post very shortly from two new sources, as well as commercial video from the NY Marathon. After the first of the year, I will be combining all the legit footage into a new one-minute reel.Still submitting away for auditions, studying acting with Penny Templeton, working on writing Penny's book on acting technique with her and gearing up to get back into posting on the 12 of 12 blog from Chad Darnell. Life is good!

November 26, 2008

On Saturday, I attended the "I'll Replace You" opening at Postmasters Gallery. I didn't know what to expect. I've seen other art installations but not multimedia exhibits. Some you walk through, some are environments you look at. This was a bit of both. The first room was a large black box space where the film that I'm in was playing continuously on a loop. The film is about 16 minutes and shows people replacing Jennifer and Kevin McCoy in various roles in their life. Some sections are cut very quickly with many people finishing sentences or even words of the other. Other sections have more dialog and are more "scenes". I enjoyed the film. There was a lot of humor and a great sense of commonality and shared experience.

In the second room, painted white, there were several parts of the show. To the right were two photographic displays, one for each of the artists. One showed Kevin with many "Jennifers" in a wig - males, females, kids, adults, seniors - and the other with Jennifer and many "Kevins" in wig and mustache. It was amusing and provoking and my favorite photo was of Jennifer with a "Kevin" who was a nursing mother. With the "pregnant man" story in the news this past year, the photo tickled my funny bone and made me think that we're all just people first who end up in these combinations at random and who knows what will work?

There were two paintings that were discussed in the film at length on another wall - and unfortunately the volume in the the theatre was too loud for me to hear most of what was said about them. They seemed to be mirror images of each other and I want to revisit the show so I can hear the dialogue in the film more clearly about the paintings. The other part of the exhibit was a dvd setup where people were watching scenes of people talk about artworks projected onto the wall behind them. I didn't get to listen, as you had to wear headphones and that part of the exhibit was crowded with the people who appear in it! They all wanted to see each other's segments - so that's another part of the whole I have to see on a less crowded day!

Today the promo for the NY Marathon was posted on the TAM Store site and I appear in it in several places, including giving a testimonial. Unfortunately, my name is spelled wrong (which is so easy to do!) but I'm sure that can be corrected and I'm hoping in the meantime that this link helps people find me easier when Googling. It's a nice video! Very cool and really captures the atmosphere of the Marathon.

Tomorrow I travel to see my parents and wish my father a very Happy Thanksgiving - the biggest blessing is that he is alive, recovering and on the mend. I am so incredibly thankful.

November 19, 2008

So this is a new feature for me - blogging on acting. I have my photographic 12 of 12 blog as well, but nothing that really addresses my journey as an actor and why I chose to do this, leaving a more secure (though crazy-making) career as a psychotherapist and going back to the insanity that is life as an actor.

It's been a few years now since I moved from Williamsport, PA to restart an acting career. I'm already in my second apartment - much better than the first, that's for sure! - but still at the same money job, which is working pretty well to support me and allow me to audition. I'm optimistic. No, I haven't had the "big" break, but I have met and worked with some terrific people and continue to be able to get auditions on my own.

My latest adventure has been with TAM, The Actors Market and Gwyn Gilliss. I did the NY Actors Marathon and met 50 industry professionals - agents, casting directors, managers - and it was a great experience. After meeting with Gwyn for follow-up, I realized I need to get my reel and website reflecting more of who I am and how I can be cast, so I am in the process of doing both those things.I was called in for two commercial auditions from contacts made at the Marathon - one for a print ad campaign by Amy Gossels and one for a web campaign by Meredith Jacobson Marciano. The print ad was a "go-see", which is only the second I've done since coming to NYC, where you go in and they photograph you. There's no copy or anything, as it's print, so it's just about being you in a short minute. The following week, I noticed that the "Caucasian female" type age range for the ad campaign was changed to an older range, so I guess the client decided to go with something different. You just have to roll with it! It was a nice opportunity to resee Amy and get myself in front of her again, which is what it's all about.

The web campaign audition was really fun as I got to write my own material! I am so glad that I have been working with my acting teacher, Penny Templeton, over the past two summers on writing my own material because it sure came in handy and I wasn't self-conscious at all. The audition specified to talk, dance, sing, etc. how you pursue your passion. I first thought, "There's no way I can write about acting - how boring is that?!" but then I began to think about what my passion is and discovered that it's not necessarily about a goal but about living that journey towards my goals. So I wrote a monologue talking about how I am a "jumper" and just leap off the cliff when it comes to follow my passion, that I want to really live my life without fear and passion fuels me along the way. I really liked what I came up with - it's me - so no matter what, if anything, comes up from the audition, I feel great about what I did and can put this piece in with my developing one-woman show that I've been working on.

July 2008 12 of 12!

It's July already!!! OMG! This year has gone so fast for me so far.

Again, it's time for the 12 of 12, brainchild of Chad Darnell. Check out Chad's blog for the diddly on how to participate.

I didn't realize it was the 12th until about noon, so I missed my morning, but this turned out to be a LAAAAAAAZZZZZY day, so not much was missed!

It sure was beautiful out, though. Blue sky, no clouds and the weather was perfect. Low humidity, at least earlier in the day. Gorgeous!

I needed to get some gluten-free staples at the health food store. This is walking along. Typical NYC garbage and typical Daily News headline. This was lying outside the transient hotel at the corner of my street. I also had the first negative experience with race in my neighborhood in the two years I've lived here. Seconds later after taking this picture, an obviously drunk or stoned older woman started yelling "White bitch! Klu Klux Klan!" at me as I crossed the street for no reason other than I was there. I really did feel sorry for her. She was obviously messed up to the bejesus, stumbling and slurring. There are a lot of people hooked on crack in and around my neighborhood. It's tragic.

These are some beautiful brownstones on the next block of my street. All renovated and well-cared for. There's one currently being renovated where I was standing - such a dream to be able to buy one and fix it up....

Some beautiful colored flowers in a box outside another apartment building. I loved the colors.

St. John's Cathedral - they've finally finished putting on the copper roof over the main altar. It looks really pretty now. It was covered in blue dropcloths since I moved in this neighborhood.

My favorite gluten-free cracker. They look weird but they taste good. Especially compared to other gluten-free crackers I've wasted money on trying. But my health food store is tiny and has a limited selection. This week I have to head to the bigger one down by work to get more gluten-free goodies.

A gorgeous sunflower as I walk home.

At home, after a snack. Now I need to get down to cleaning and dusting.

Sorting crap into piles to go through. Already dusted and watered the plants. I have a ton of ironing. One thing about summer is all the cotton. Ironing sucks when it's hot and humid out, air conditioner or no air conditioner.

I started keeping picture journals of inspiring things back when I was in college and since my divorce, I started it up again after I tried doing the "Simple Abundance" book for a year (I never made it through). I like having this. I'm a really visual person, so it's a good reminder for me of things I find soul-feeding.

Another page of the inspiration book.

My latest book. I haven't seen the movie and my mom recommended I read the book first.

That's pretty much it! Oh, things are better this month and will continue to improve with time. Thanks to everyone for their good wishes last month. It meant a lot to me!! **HUGS**

June 2008 12 of 12

Time for another 12 of 12. For details, check out the Father of the 12, Chad Darnell's website for all the details in participating.

WARNING: This 12 sucks. This was not a fun day for me. Without going into details, I am tackling a serious problem head on and the solution isn't a fun one. *Sigh* Well, life goes on!

Here is me, getting ready to leave home for the day. I was actually very optimistic at this point, but I think I knew what the score would be.

My meeting was downtown in the Wall Street area. I haven't been down there since I took my friends to the WTC site about a year and a half ago. The vastness of the hole in the sky always gets me. Fit my mood.

The Deutsche Bank building, the black building, which was once very tall, is growing shorter by the day. It was completely damaged on 9/11. They've been dismantling it storey by storey, but whether or not this is being done in a way to reduce contamination being released into the air and soil is in debate. There have been accidents and fires there, so safety is in question. Allegedly, it is being done safely. But it's almost 7 years later and it's still standing. Crazy. 7 years. I can't believe that. It still feels like a year ago down here.

Because of construction on the new Freedom Tower, the memorial area for the WTC has been closed off. There's no place to pay respects except across the street at St. Paul's church, the haven for firefighters and workers during the recovery. Miraculously, it wasn't damaged at all except for the loss of a huge 100 year-old sycamore tree.

This is the Freedom Bell, made in England by the same folks who made the Liberty Bell. It was a gift to the city after 9/11 and rings on the anniversary. The stump of the sycamore tree rests across from the bell and serves as a little memorial. I didn't take a picture of it because it felt disrespectful. I just said a prayer for those who died and left a penny. The stump has coins on all over it.

Another shot of the empty space of the WTC. The only other place where there is such a big open space in Manhattan is the main field of Central Park.

I needed to walk after my "adventures", so I just started walking uptown. Passed the lovely jail. It's like a monolith. I didn't realize how morbid my photos were until this point. I promised no more downers!!!

So I am goofing at work with this one. Poor me! Whaa! I'm so sad! Poking fun at myself made me feel a little better.

I think I have probably four variations of this picture of John in my 12s!!! Loading up on stale doughnuts and coffee before work. Hahahaha!

I was "on-call" from 7:45 to 12am. OMG. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Absolutely nothing to do.

Working hard or hardly working? Surfing my Battlestar Galactica message board, Pegasus Actual.

I have no 12th picture. I just couldn't bring myself to shoot another photo of nothing!!! Next month will be better, I have no doubt. Things will pass and all will be well. Besides, if you want to see amazing photos, just back up 12 days and look at my blog from Joshua Tree!

Joshua Tree on the Mesa at Ghost Ranch

I just returned from an extraordinary journey to Ghost Ranch, Georgia O'Keefe's legendary home in the desert where she painted what I believe is her most beautiful works of art. I won an essay contest to receive a scholarship to attend Lynn Andrews' yearly shamanic spiritual retreat, which ran Thursday through Sunday, May 29-June 1. I've been reading Lynn's books and working with her in various ways since 1990. But I haven't been able to attend a Joshua Tree event since 1994, so this was an amazing gift. I included my essay below, if you're interested in reading it.

I've never been to this part of New Mexico. Ghost Ranch is outside of Abiquiu, a tiny little "town" that basically consists of a motel, a general store and a cafe up in the northwestern part of the state going towards the Four Corners. The landscape is beyond words. Depending on the light of the day, the rocks and cliffs take on varying colors. All this land was once under a vast sea and the shapes of the mesas and the varying layers of rock and sediment were shaped by that ocean.


This mesa was the view from the rear of my cabin around 11 am. I was staying in a small cabin up on a hill overlooking the main ranch compound. Ghost Ranch is about 2 miles or more off the paved road, in its own little valley.



My cabin. Very rustic! I was in the room 2nd from the right. All plywood, bunk beds, concrete floor. Spiders, too! I have a few souvenir bites, but nothing major. I like spiders so it didn't bother me. I even saw a spider capture an ant and roll it up like Frodo in "The Lord of the Rings" and then eat it - or suck its blood, as spiders are little vampires at heart. It was very cool. I've never seen that before.



I met Mr. Lizard on Thursday afternoon on my way down to our first afternoon ceremony and session. He was curious about me, too. We hung out and looked at each other for quite a while.




This is a close-up shot of Spider Woman Mountain, which is across the valley from Ghost Ranch and it is a very sacred site for the local Native Americans. Lynn uses Spider Woman Mountain in our visualization practices and it is wonderful to finally see the mountain in person.



This is Chimney Rock, a formation located in Ghost Ranch. There's a hiking trail up to Chimney Rock but unfortunately I didn't have the time to squeeze in much hiking. Next time.



Each Joshua Tree for the last 20 years, Lynn asks each participant to bring a prayer stick for the World Altar. Your prayer stick can be made with any materials, with your specific prayers for the planet placed into the stick as you make it. The sticks continue to be kept year after year for the World Altar until they disintegrate. There were hundreds of them, circling a large tree-bush near our main meeting room.



There may even be thousands of prayer sticks. It was hard to tell because there were so many going around in a large circle of many layers. It really was beautiful.




Also every year begins with the Elk Pole Ceremony, where each participant takes a ribbon, goes around the four directions of the circle, then ties the ribbon on the Elk Pole with her or his intent for the retreat. The Elk is special specifically to Lynn as her teacher is Agnes Whistling Elk and we are all part of the Clan of the Whistling Elk.

The beautiful finished Elk Pole after ceremony. The pole stands for the four days of the retreat.

Lynn always combines art and creativity with her spiritual teachings, believing that when we manifest our dreaming and intent in art, we are making an act of power to be seen in the world. This year we created masks of power under the guidance of our power animals. Here I am looking mighty fierce as my mask is completed.

Standing in the Elk Pole circle letting the warmth of the sun dry my mask. And looking fashionable in trash bag high couture.



This year was Lynn's 20th anniversary of Joshua Tree events, so there was a lot of honoring of that passage. There was an amazing ballet performed by one of her students and his dance company and a presentation of the teachings of another master teacher, Yoda. All was in great fun and celebration.

Ghost Ranch has a labyrinth out on the land. I first walked it in the dark under the stars on Friday night, which was simply amazing. The stars are a blanket across the sky out here, with the Milky Way floating through. Before decorating my mask on Saturday afternoon, I came out to walk the labyrinth again with specific intent for my mask and my shapeshifting work. This year's teaching on shapeshifting were profound. Lynn is not just talking about physically looking different, like an animal or what have you, like is traditionally associated with shapeshifting, but how to energetically shapeshift your life, your beliefs, your perceptions. Life is a choice. What you do with your life is a choice. And it is never too late or too far gone to change, to shift, to decide to live differently, looking through different eyes and different perspectives. It is a teaching of hope.

I love the labryinth. You start with going right towards the center and then you find yourself skirting the outsides, then back towards the center and back out again, mirroring the twists and turns of life and the trust that you will get there. Walking it in the dark was really an exercise in trust!!

After the labyrinth, I walked up to my cabin to get my art supplies to decorate my mask. I included this because it really surprised me how happy I am. I was already feeling transformed, that I had shapeshifted into a greater sense of peace and joy.

During the days and nights of sessions, we broke up into smaller groups to work with concepts of the altar and healing in the four directions. Our task was to create a "healing hologram" painting on cloth. One night we painted one side in the dark using colors associated with a direction we chose at random (using M&M's!!!). The next day, we again chose M&Ms and created the other side of the painting. Here is our painting drying in the sun.

Some of the wonderful completed masks around the Elk Pole. We placed them all around the circle. It was an amazing site. We would later wear these masks for the Saturday night fire ceremony.

Yucca in bloom in front of a cabin decorated with prayer flags. It was so beautiful!!




Spider Woman Mountain later in the early evening light. I can see why Georgia O'Keefe loved this land.

The light on the mesas at evening time really brought out the reds and oranges whereas the daylight brought out more of the whites and yellows.

An O'Keefe-inspired shot of the top of the chapel at Ghost Ranch. I love the contrast in colors.

Spider Woman Mountain in the distance again, across the green green fields at Ghost Ranch.

Me and my shadow going to Saturday night ceremony.

One of the best things about Joshua Tree was meeting some amazing people. This is Suzanne and I am very happy to call her my friend. We had a great connection and experience together.

As the contest winner, I had my photo taken with Lynn after our Closing Ceremony on Sunday morning. I think this will be posted on Lynn's website if I'm not mistaken.

Christy and Suzanne at our last lunch together before catching the shuttle back to Albuquerque. Suzanne and I stayed overnight for our flights in the morning at the same hotel and had a great time talking and drinking margaritas!

I adore Renee, who was one of the leaders in our small group and my mask-making partner. She has absolutely loving energy and was a joy to be around. She is a 4th year student in Lynn's Mystery School.

Me with the Ghost Ranch horse outside the main office. Waiting for the shuttle bus to take me back to civilization.

One last photo goodbye. I will be back again. I promise.

* * * * * * *

The question for this year's essay was:

“Shapeshifting into Power”

If all the world’s a stage, as Shakespeare said, consider the parts you have played during this lifetime, and the part you are playing now. How are you taking your power and manifesting in the world? How has this changed over time? Write about your process and experience of transformation in manifesting your life.

And here is my essay:

Once upon a time, I was all things and many more. I chose to forget my perfection and be born. I began a journey of remembering. I chose to suffer in order to know joy. I chose to be human, to be like everyone else but to be different – to be me.

The sun peeks over the horizon, a peachy soft fleshy pulse of color and light and warmth.

I am who I have chosen to be, who I choose to be. I walk on the edges because that's my nature. I join in the human stream with friends and family. I dive into the stars and the mysteries and the silky blackness of aloneness, of solitude, of joining with nothingness and everythingness and being.

I am afraid of being seen. I am retraining, building stamina, lifting weights of thoughts which have fermented into giant fear-soaked raisins in my brain, my heart, my spirit. I squeeze them. I lay them out in the sun to dry. I examine them like a puzzle, a painting, a flower blossoming into fruit, the peachy soft fleshy pulse of the sun, now shining brightly above the horizon as I breathe, in and out, and with a sigh of joy, of reconciling, of love, embrace myself in all my complex simplicity.

A life of opposites. Sometimes consciously chosen, sometimes cluelessly. Or so it seems to the Victim, the Martyr. I know her. We spent many years together and occasionally she drops in for a cup of tea. I now have the strength to show her out the door when her visit has overstayed.

I have been brave. I have been cowardly. I've played the Child and the Mother, the Friend and the Backstabber, the Confident One, the Leader. I've joined forces with the Rebel. She's more exciting than the Follower, yet she steamrollers over others, especially those she loves. The time has come for her to stop fighting just because she can.

I have been the Goddess, the Lover, the Muse. I have explored the hidden caves of the Hermit and the raging fires of the Scorned One.

Like a switch being flipped, I find myself in midlife, wondering what has become of all the roles I have played. I use them in my acting work, my Act of Power, but are they me? Who is "me"?If my spirit is a fragmented mirror, do the fragments disappear when the mirror is reassembled? Or are they still separate pieces forming a greater whole? Facets of a diamond, reflecting the rainbow of my truth into the world. Where I have been. Where I may go.

I journey on. I let go of becoming. I am, and I have always been and always shall be. The perception of me has changed. There is no good or bad, no right or wrong. I step into the spotlight of power in perfect love and perfect trust. I fall blissfully into its endless peachy soft fleshy pulse of eternal light. I am. Whatever else there may be, I am.