April 22, 2009 - Goal Setting

I am an idea person. I am juiced by the idea of ideas. The Big Picture. Finding the overarching story and absorbing the effects.

Details, on the other hand, are difficult. I always see the goal but not the first step on the path.

In January, I wrote a post about setting five 3-month goals with 2 weekly goals for each goal. Through this process, I began to see that I again did something that aids in knocking my wheels off the track - I have too large or encompassing goals that need to be broken down further into doable steps. I also took on a goal that I believe sabotages many actors - "getting an agent". Talk about a generic, nebulous statement that involves the will of another person, something I have no control over.

That brought up a challenge for me. How to let go of the things I can't control. That's a 12-step mantra and though I have doubts about the 12-step process, I do believe that this statement is really a truism in becoming successful. When you let go of having to control what another does and put all your energy and focus and talent into what YOU do, you create a space for that goal to happen inside of you. In my shamanic studies, I've learned that when you call power to you, you must make a place for power to live inside of you or power WILL leave. By power, I'm not talking about the traditional Western view of power "over" another. Power is personal. It is standing in who you really are. It is valuing yourself, not in a narcissistic, self-indulgent way, but in realizing you are a unique and valuable individual that is an essential part of a greater whole.

So in applying this to my goal to "get an agent", I realize that that's not a goal I personally have control over. What I do have control over is making myself the best actor I can be and in doing that, I create my own successes. I let go of the aura of having to "get an agent" to succeed and let an agent find me. That doesn't mean stopping doing all of the marketing and promotion I need to do as an actor. It means basically making the vision of what it would be like to work with an agent and the benefits of that have a place to live inside of me. It's the old "act as if".

I know that might seem like a lot of mumbo jumbo, airy fairy bs, but truly, I think the most successful actors that I personally know become successful because they finally let go of needing to control what is outside of themselves and just focus on their work. They study, they audition for work they submit for, they build their contacts and they focus on being the best actors they can be. Opportunities then come.

I remember talking with Kevin Spacey when I was very young and green outside a Broadway theatre where he was appearing and he was so kind to speak with me and my student friends for about 20 minutes about doing the work. He's right. It is about doing the work. I didn't become an actor to be Paris Hilton. I became an actor to be an actor, to work as an actor, to live my life being a creative collaborator. When I took off acting for 10 years, went to grad school, did my career as an art therapist, I was very successful because I had no doubts whatsoever. I just did my work. It's time to bring that to my acting.

So yes, I will do my work. I'll continue my studies, get my new reel finished and posted up on my website, audition for everything I'm right for, be disciplined, talk to people I respect, meet new contacts and keep on going. Perseverance pays off in this business.

April 2009 12 of 12

Ah, 12 of 12. Chad Darnell's brainchild photo blog. Chad, so so glad to hear that you are NORMAL and clear of cancer. That's the way to do that!

I missed last month because I just forgot it was the 12th until about 6 pm....oh well....


Post-stuffing her face with breakfast is the lovely Princess Leia. Her face was completely in the camera within the next 2 seconds. What are you doing, Mom??

Though I don't celebrate Easter, I do celebrate eggs. Here are some making their way to hard boiled.

I am studying shamanism in a 4 year program and one of my daily tasks is to draw a daily Power Deck card. They all have incredible paintings on them. This one is Virtue, finding spirit in the small things. Appropriate for today.

It was very sunny, though cold, today, so I decided to take a walk in Central Park and do my daily meditation there. Sat with my back up against a rock and soaked in the sun and sounds of nature. Lots of activity. Woodpeckers knocking, robins foraging, squirrels running around. It's amazing how nature heals the soul.

There are some points walking on unpaved trails in the Park that you think you're out somewhere in the wilds, like right at this moment, then you walk over a rise and can see the buildings peeking over the trees on 5th Avenue.

Not a cloud in the sky and fresh green buds on the trees. It was a spectacular show of how no matter how dark the winter, spring always comes.

Ah, the poor Zambonis. In the winter, the pool is split into two large ice rinks. Now they're drained and the Zambonis will go into their summer hibernation. Sleep well!

Taking a moment to catch some rays on the rooftop of the poolhouse.

Me and my shadow.

LUNCH! Today is obviously a gluten day. My doc says I can try adding gluten back in so I am slowly, doing two days of seven. It's also an economic thing. Gluten-free food has skyrocketed more so than regular food and produce is really high. Sometimes grease, gluten and fat is all there is. And yes, it tasted really good. Just hope it does in about 2 hours....

Feeling pretty good today. My back is tolerable. Yeah for traction!!! Hanging like a bat is working wonders.

The Princess sulking after I wouldn't let her have any pizza. Poor kitty. She looks deprived, doesn't she.

Wishing you all a Happy Spring!!!