Joshua Tree on the Mesa at Ghost Ranch

I just returned from an extraordinary journey to Ghost Ranch, Georgia O'Keefe's legendary home in the desert where she painted what I believe is her most beautiful works of art. I won an essay contest to receive a scholarship to attend Lynn Andrews' yearly shamanic spiritual retreat, which ran Thursday through Sunday, May 29-June 1. I've been reading Lynn's books and working with her in various ways since 1990. But I haven't been able to attend a Joshua Tree event since 1994, so this was an amazing gift. I included my essay below, if you're interested in reading it.

I've never been to this part of New Mexico. Ghost Ranch is outside of Abiquiu, a tiny little "town" that basically consists of a motel, a general store and a cafe up in the northwestern part of the state going towards the Four Corners. The landscape is beyond words. Depending on the light of the day, the rocks and cliffs take on varying colors. All this land was once under a vast sea and the shapes of the mesas and the varying layers of rock and sediment were shaped by that ocean.


This mesa was the view from the rear of my cabin around 11 am. I was staying in a small cabin up on a hill overlooking the main ranch compound. Ghost Ranch is about 2 miles or more off the paved road, in its own little valley.



My cabin. Very rustic! I was in the room 2nd from the right. All plywood, bunk beds, concrete floor. Spiders, too! I have a few souvenir bites, but nothing major. I like spiders so it didn't bother me. I even saw a spider capture an ant and roll it up like Frodo in "The Lord of the Rings" and then eat it - or suck its blood, as spiders are little vampires at heart. It was very cool. I've never seen that before.



I met Mr. Lizard on Thursday afternoon on my way down to our first afternoon ceremony and session. He was curious about me, too. We hung out and looked at each other for quite a while.




This is a close-up shot of Spider Woman Mountain, which is across the valley from Ghost Ranch and it is a very sacred site for the local Native Americans. Lynn uses Spider Woman Mountain in our visualization practices and it is wonderful to finally see the mountain in person.



This is Chimney Rock, a formation located in Ghost Ranch. There's a hiking trail up to Chimney Rock but unfortunately I didn't have the time to squeeze in much hiking. Next time.



Each Joshua Tree for the last 20 years, Lynn asks each participant to bring a prayer stick for the World Altar. Your prayer stick can be made with any materials, with your specific prayers for the planet placed into the stick as you make it. The sticks continue to be kept year after year for the World Altar until they disintegrate. There were hundreds of them, circling a large tree-bush near our main meeting room.



There may even be thousands of prayer sticks. It was hard to tell because there were so many going around in a large circle of many layers. It really was beautiful.




Also every year begins with the Elk Pole Ceremony, where each participant takes a ribbon, goes around the four directions of the circle, then ties the ribbon on the Elk Pole with her or his intent for the retreat. The Elk is special specifically to Lynn as her teacher is Agnes Whistling Elk and we are all part of the Clan of the Whistling Elk.

The beautiful finished Elk Pole after ceremony. The pole stands for the four days of the retreat.

Lynn always combines art and creativity with her spiritual teachings, believing that when we manifest our dreaming and intent in art, we are making an act of power to be seen in the world. This year we created masks of power under the guidance of our power animals. Here I am looking mighty fierce as my mask is completed.

Standing in the Elk Pole circle letting the warmth of the sun dry my mask. And looking fashionable in trash bag high couture.



This year was Lynn's 20th anniversary of Joshua Tree events, so there was a lot of honoring of that passage. There was an amazing ballet performed by one of her students and his dance company and a presentation of the teachings of another master teacher, Yoda. All was in great fun and celebration.

Ghost Ranch has a labyrinth out on the land. I first walked it in the dark under the stars on Friday night, which was simply amazing. The stars are a blanket across the sky out here, with the Milky Way floating through. Before decorating my mask on Saturday afternoon, I came out to walk the labyrinth again with specific intent for my mask and my shapeshifting work. This year's teaching on shapeshifting were profound. Lynn is not just talking about physically looking different, like an animal or what have you, like is traditionally associated with shapeshifting, but how to energetically shapeshift your life, your beliefs, your perceptions. Life is a choice. What you do with your life is a choice. And it is never too late or too far gone to change, to shift, to decide to live differently, looking through different eyes and different perspectives. It is a teaching of hope.

I love the labryinth. You start with going right towards the center and then you find yourself skirting the outsides, then back towards the center and back out again, mirroring the twists and turns of life and the trust that you will get there. Walking it in the dark was really an exercise in trust!!

After the labyrinth, I walked up to my cabin to get my art supplies to decorate my mask. I included this because it really surprised me how happy I am. I was already feeling transformed, that I had shapeshifted into a greater sense of peace and joy.

During the days and nights of sessions, we broke up into smaller groups to work with concepts of the altar and healing in the four directions. Our task was to create a "healing hologram" painting on cloth. One night we painted one side in the dark using colors associated with a direction we chose at random (using M&M's!!!). The next day, we again chose M&Ms and created the other side of the painting. Here is our painting drying in the sun.

Some of the wonderful completed masks around the Elk Pole. We placed them all around the circle. It was an amazing site. We would later wear these masks for the Saturday night fire ceremony.

Yucca in bloom in front of a cabin decorated with prayer flags. It was so beautiful!!




Spider Woman Mountain later in the early evening light. I can see why Georgia O'Keefe loved this land.

The light on the mesas at evening time really brought out the reds and oranges whereas the daylight brought out more of the whites and yellows.

An O'Keefe-inspired shot of the top of the chapel at Ghost Ranch. I love the contrast in colors.

Spider Woman Mountain in the distance again, across the green green fields at Ghost Ranch.

Me and my shadow going to Saturday night ceremony.

One of the best things about Joshua Tree was meeting some amazing people. This is Suzanne and I am very happy to call her my friend. We had a great connection and experience together.

As the contest winner, I had my photo taken with Lynn after our Closing Ceremony on Sunday morning. I think this will be posted on Lynn's website if I'm not mistaken.

Christy and Suzanne at our last lunch together before catching the shuttle back to Albuquerque. Suzanne and I stayed overnight for our flights in the morning at the same hotel and had a great time talking and drinking margaritas!

I adore Renee, who was one of the leaders in our small group and my mask-making partner. She has absolutely loving energy and was a joy to be around. She is a 4th year student in Lynn's Mystery School.

Me with the Ghost Ranch horse outside the main office. Waiting for the shuttle bus to take me back to civilization.

One last photo goodbye. I will be back again. I promise.

* * * * * * *

The question for this year's essay was:

“Shapeshifting into Power”

If all the world’s a stage, as Shakespeare said, consider the parts you have played during this lifetime, and the part you are playing now. How are you taking your power and manifesting in the world? How has this changed over time? Write about your process and experience of transformation in manifesting your life.

And here is my essay:

Once upon a time, I was all things and many more. I chose to forget my perfection and be born. I began a journey of remembering. I chose to suffer in order to know joy. I chose to be human, to be like everyone else but to be different – to be me.

The sun peeks over the horizon, a peachy soft fleshy pulse of color and light and warmth.

I am who I have chosen to be, who I choose to be. I walk on the edges because that's my nature. I join in the human stream with friends and family. I dive into the stars and the mysteries and the silky blackness of aloneness, of solitude, of joining with nothingness and everythingness and being.

I am afraid of being seen. I am retraining, building stamina, lifting weights of thoughts which have fermented into giant fear-soaked raisins in my brain, my heart, my spirit. I squeeze them. I lay them out in the sun to dry. I examine them like a puzzle, a painting, a flower blossoming into fruit, the peachy soft fleshy pulse of the sun, now shining brightly above the horizon as I breathe, in and out, and with a sigh of joy, of reconciling, of love, embrace myself in all my complex simplicity.

A life of opposites. Sometimes consciously chosen, sometimes cluelessly. Or so it seems to the Victim, the Martyr. I know her. We spent many years together and occasionally she drops in for a cup of tea. I now have the strength to show her out the door when her visit has overstayed.

I have been brave. I have been cowardly. I've played the Child and the Mother, the Friend and the Backstabber, the Confident One, the Leader. I've joined forces with the Rebel. She's more exciting than the Follower, yet she steamrollers over others, especially those she loves. The time has come for her to stop fighting just because she can.

I have been the Goddess, the Lover, the Muse. I have explored the hidden caves of the Hermit and the raging fires of the Scorned One.

Like a switch being flipped, I find myself in midlife, wondering what has become of all the roles I have played. I use them in my acting work, my Act of Power, but are they me? Who is "me"?If my spirit is a fragmented mirror, do the fragments disappear when the mirror is reassembled? Or are they still separate pieces forming a greater whole? Facets of a diamond, reflecting the rainbow of my truth into the world. Where I have been. Where I may go.

I journey on. I let go of becoming. I am, and I have always been and always shall be. The perception of me has changed. There is no good or bad, no right or wrong. I step into the spotlight of power in perfect love and perfect trust. I fall blissfully into its endless peachy soft fleshy pulse of eternal light. I am. Whatever else there may be, I am.